I sat on a wooden pew in the church of my childhood on New Years Eve morning. I hadn't been in one of those pews for many years. Being there brought back many memories, and the one I formed there Friday will forever be etched in my memory. We were there to celebrate the life and mourn the loss of my childhood best friend's little brother K. At 24, he lost his battle with cancer in the second round after a long and brave fight. He leaves behind his parents and sister, and also a beautiful 2-year old baby girl. The world is a better place for having known him, as he was truly one of the kindest, light-hearted people I have ever known.
It was surreal to see K lying there the night before at the visitation, as it was obvious the cancer had taken a great toll. His 24 year old self had aged a great deal, and appeared as though an old man had taken his place. I think this dramatic shift in his appearance made it harder for me to believe that K was actually gone, as he was not the same kid that had followed his sister and me around, playing with Barbies and potbellied pigs. However, that kid from my memories was clearly visible in K's daughter, as she ran around the funeral home. She will be a blessing to their family in the years to come, as they are incredibly lucky to still have a piece of him here.
The message at K's service was given by one of our high school teachers. It gave a much more personal perspective than it would have been if the current pastor of the church had given it, as she probably had never met K. After recalling several memories of having K in class, Mr. C encouraged all in attendance to remember "The Three R's." The three r's that came to mind were the old addage of reading, riting, and rithmetic. These three r's were different, and the first R is "Remember."
Remembering the person K was, and all of the great memories we have of him is what Mr. C intended to convey to us with the first R. Aside from the dolls and farm animals, one of my most entertaining memories of K was during driver's ed. I was the baby of my class, and because of this I had to take driver's ed with the class below me (after I'd already been driving to school every day of my freshman year). K was in my driving group, along with one of our other friends J, who, sadly, is also deceased. K and I were already experienced drivers, but J decidedly was not. When we took our long trip, to a town much bigger than ours, K and I had a great time counting how many times J would knock over the Kleenex box on the ledge of the backseat by stomping on the brakes and slamming on the accelerator. I couldn't have asked for a more entertaining group. It's incredibly sad to realize that both of them are now gone.
The second R of Mr. C's sermon was Review. He encouraged us to review our lives, and take a good look at what our priorities are. Are we giving enough time and energy to our families, to our faith, to our friends? Or are we focused on things that are not necessarily as important in the long run?
Finally, the third R was refocus. During that review of our lives, if you found that your priorities weren't exactly in the right place, maybe it's time to refocus. Place importance on family, place importance on being closer with God, and the other things in life that truly matter. Some lucky people may have all of their priorities in line, but let's face it, most of us don't.
This message really struck me. What better time to review and refocus than at the beginning of a new year? How better to remember and honor those who have died than to live better lives?
As a result of K's passing and the message Mr. C delivered, I'm making "Remember, Review, Refocus" my New Year's Resolution for 2011.
The review is in process and I am vowing to make myself a better person this year.
